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MyLife Migraines
The bad news is that my daughter has another migraine. The good news is that I think we have discovered a major trigger. It appears she most often gets migraines when she doesn't get enough sleep. I've thought for years that it is very important for children to get plenty of sleep, and certainly this is the case for Tanika. Here is a great link about children and sleep: http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/sleep.htm We have found that we need to put Tanika to bed at 9pm on school nights. She gets up around 6:30, so assuming it takes her 15 min. or so to go to sleep, she sleeps around 9 hours. This seems to be about right for her, as she usually gets up pretty easily on this schedule. I use to think that when she had a big assignment at school that she wasn't going to get finished in time, I should let her stay up to finish it. I'm rethinking this now. Since she is still in Middle school, I think it is probably better that she takes the hit on not having her assignment done, and gets her full sleep instead. And we teach her how to plan out her homework and not wait to the last minute, because school work is important, but school work is going to suffer without sleep, and sleep needs to take top priority, or else she literally suffers. While it is true that the migraines seem to occur when her sleep is seriously deprived (they seem to follow sleepovers most often), I think that even small losses in sleep are bad for her. Migraines ~ Comments: 2
Such a Ho
I was hanging out with some friends recently, when they began talking about someone they knew in high school. They called her a ho. I did not call them on it. Maybe because I did not know said girl. But it should not have mattered. It really doesn't matter whether she fulfilled some criteria for being a ho. The term ho is offensive. Very. Should not be used to refer to anyone. The old double standard. It would never have even crossed their mind to care about a label for a guy from high school who slept around. I wish I would have said something. I don't understand why it took so long for the offense to even register. Why it wasn't until much later that night that I said to myself, 'wait a minute, they called some girl a ho; I should have said something'. Next time I hope my brain isn't in such slow motion. Such a Ho ~ Comments: 0
Road Trip
myLifeby me on 25.05.2009 - 23:20 We are done with our roadtrip! Well, I'm still in California for a couple more days, but Tanika is now back in Washington. Below was our final itinerary. We had a really great time, and pictures are on the web. http://www.shadlen.org/~maria/pmwiki/Pics/SWtrip09 The times are approximate driving times, but we found them to be pretty close. Current tentative itinerary:
Road Trip ~ Comments: 2
marriage
myLifeby maria on 30.04.2009 - 01:43 Before I got married I had no intention of getting married. I got married because otherwise I had to separate from my boyfriend for a year and a half. My suspicions about marriage were confirmed, and I myself fell into a couple of marriage traps. The biggest one is complacency. We will be together no matter what, so I can let loose. Nothing like taking a relationship for granted to cause it to fall apart. It has since come to my attention that there are other reasons for complacency in relationships, but I still maintain that marriage is the biggest and baddest. The second marriage trap is the expectation. At the same time that you are starting to take the relationship for granted, your expectations of the relationship suddenly increase. Weirdly enough, not just your expectations for the other person. Suddenly you think you need to give up this or the other thing, or make some sacrifice that has never been requested, because wives do x or husbands do y. Or maybe you think you are suppose be spending time or money on something, but turns out the other person has entirely different expectations, and may not even notice you bending over backwards for something they couldn't care less about. We find ourselves acting as if there is some model that we must all follow. Some model based on fairytales and tv shows and our own baggage... Of course I thought I could get around all of this by just not marrying again. Silly me, don't know what I was thinking. Becoming a nun might have saved me from it, but that would have landed me in a padded room instead, I expect, or I would be like one of the priests photographed with a woman. Celibacy, shmelibacy. marriage ~ Comments: 2
Bobbie Hort
myLifeby Maria on 22.10.2008 - 01:26  Bobbie and Harold Hort My aunt died a few days ago. It was not unexpected, as her health was poor, but it was still too soon. I had hoped to visit her again before she passed, but it seems I waited too long. I hope she knew how much I loved and appreciated her. We never lived very near each other, but I always enjoyed visiting her. I always thought it was quite special that my daughter was born on the same day as Bobbie, November 14. I left for the army when I was just 17 years old, and after training I was stationed in Korea for a year. I then moved to Fort Hood, Texas. I lived there for two and a half years, and the only person from my family that ever visited me there was Bobbie, who came down from Nebraska and stayed with us for a few days. I was so grateful to have that contact, as my time in the army was far from easy. Thank you Bobbie. Bobbie's old farm holds so many wonderful memories for me. When I was young, playing on the farm, surrounded by family and animals, was like a little piece of heaven. Until my brother and I discovered that red ants bite. Being city folks, the farm was an infinite source of new intrigues. Bobbie is always central to that memory. She always had a fun story and words of wisdom. Not to mention a bit of candy. Thank you Bobbie. She was an inspiration. First woman firefighter in the state of Nebraska. I remember learning that and thinking how cool, that's my aunt. She weathered some mighty storms, and helped others to weather theirs. Thank you Bobbie. It is very unfortunate that I don't believe I ever told her these things. I hope she knew that she was an inspiration to me, that I very much appreciated having her as an aunt, and that I love her and will miss her. I have posted some pictures. Bobbie Hort ~ Comments: 1
West Coast Trail
 Lessons learned while on the West Coast Trail, in no particular order: 1. Do not wear new boots for the first time on this trail. When we were getting ready to head out at the trailhead, we ran into some people who were just finishing their trip on the trail. One of the guys literally had his boots completely wrapped in duct tape. The boots were defective, and within the first few miles, the soles had begun to fall off. He had managed to hike the entire trail on his duct taped boots, but I imagine most people would have chosen to bail. Note: Duct taped boots should not be considered waterproof. 2. If you find yourself saying, 'I don't have time to read the map', it is probably a good time to find somewhere safe, and find time to read the map. 3. Spaghetti straps are not a good idea under a heavy backpack. 4. Two pairs of socks, even if clean and dry, but especially if not, is not really enough for a five to eight day hike that takes you continuously either through either a rain forest or along a beach. 5. Mole skin doesn't work particularly well while hiking over difficult terrain, especially when feet are wet. Bandaids with duct tape is probably a better option. 6. Always bring duct tape. See #1 and #5. 7. If you are going to be backpacking on a beach and through a rain forest, make sure you check that your stuff that is suppose to be waterproof, say boots or a tent, really is waterproof before said trip. Along the same lines, don't expect stuff to dry out when hiking in a rain forest. 8. Time is somewhat less reliable on Vancouver Island. Locals definitely operate on their own time, and it may or may not coincide with yours. 9. Olive oil, shallots and garlic are worth their weight in a backpack. They make everything taste better. 10. Double bag everything that is in the slightest bit liquidy. Use stuff sacks and dry bags to compartmentalize your pack and keep everything dry. Have extra bags. Probably best not to ask how I learned most of these, but I will say I did learn from other's mistakes as well as my own. ;-) A word of advice about reservations for the WCT: Don't bother spending the non-refundable deposit to try to get a reservation. Chances are you won't get one anyway. Instead, go directly to the trailhead and put yourself on the waitlist. Go ahead and sit through the orientation, and you should be able to get on the trail within a day or two. The waitlist rolls over, so if you don't get on the trail that day, you move up to the top of the list for the next day. This is without a doubt the best book about the trail: http://members.shaw.ca/blistersbliss/ To see the pictures, and read about our adventure, go to my WCT photo page Also, I've posted some videos. West Coast Trail ~ Comments: 0
eleven
The year I was eleven was a big year for me and my brother. That was the year my grandmother died. The year we missed a couple of months of school. That was also the year my brother and I lived with friends in Rochester, NY for a month or two while our parents got settled in our new home in Steilacoom, WA. That was the year Mt. St. Helens blew. That was the year we moved across the country. Things were never the same after that year, not even remotely. The next ten years were the most difficult of my life. I had a lot of fun, but it was also the school of very hard knocks. So, now my daughter is eleven. And now I wonder, what should I do? She can't really learn from my mistakes, but maybe she can, a little. What do I tell her, what do I not tell her? Should I try to protect her as much as possible while I can? She has already had more knocks than I, at eleven. When is the best time to first encounter the real hard school of knocks? And how can we be best prepared (or prepare our kids)? a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q, Ahrrr! eleven ~ Comments: 1
living where I walk
myLifeby me on 09.07.2008 - 15:19 I love where I live. Yes, it would be nice to be a block or two closer to the water, away from the rentals and abandoned houses, but overall, I love where I live. Today, I was frustrated with work, and didn't know how to proceed. I walked three blocks from my house to the University's horticulture center. I didn't solve my work problems, but, man, their gardens are really beautiful right now. Flowers blooming, everything very lush and green, sumptuous smells, birds singing. More gorgeous gardens are on the other side of the horitulture center. Beyond the gardens is the Union Bay Natural Area, which ages ago use to be a dump, but is being restored to wetlands. These days it is a lovely place to take a walk, right next to the water, and with its fair share of wildlife. This and a gym separate me from my place of work. Not bad. Additionally, there are tons of restaurants, cafes, and various stores in easy walk of my house. And, one of the largest bike trails in the city, the Burke-Gilman bike trail is a block away. The biggest drawback to where I live? My boyfriend's commute, which he has put up with for about 7 years now. I wish I could make his commute go away, but the city isn't helping me with that one. Too bad we can't exchange work places, and I could just take the commute for a while; it would only be fair. living where I walk ~ Comments: 0
Tanika's poem for Ella
AloneI am the hot sun reflecting on a sparkling lake Tanika's poem for Ella ~ Comments: 4
Phone Scam
myLifeby Maria on 20.03.2008 - 17:36 I got a phone call the other day that was a recording explaining how I was about to miss out on an opportunity to get a lower interest rate on one of my credit cards. The recording did not say which credit card or company, but wanted me to press a button to talk someone about my account. I hung up the phone and started laughing. The day one of my credit card companies decides to call me and offer me a lower rate is the day I eat my shorts. They will, however, send me a long letter with lots of fine print and legaleeze and bury in it that they are about to raise my interest rate, and to protest I have to write a letter to protest the action within about a week. The scammers seem to have better customer service. Phone Scam ~ Comments: 0
christian god
So, when I was in Uganda, these very nice girls were braiding my hair for the wedding, and one of them asked me if I was born again. I told her no, well, actually I had been born again when I was in sixth grade, but I no longer believed. She asked me why, and I explained how I got very turned off of Christianity, because I had met so many that were horrible hypocrites, and some that were just plain mean. We kind of left it at that. I thought about bringing up the inherent unfairness of Christianity, but decided that her religion seemed to be doing her good, and if she wanted to drop pressing her religion on me, then I wasn't going to try to dissuade her from her religion. But, I do have to wonder what born again Christians think about the inherent unfairness of being born again. I remember being bothered by it as a child, and I would think it would bother adults enough to dissuade them, but clearly I'm wrong. There I go again, assuming people make choices like this rationally. So, I was taught that even if someone had never met a Christian or heard anything about Christianity, if they failed to somehow decide to take Christ into their hearts, even having never heard of him, then they would go to hell. This was why it was so important to proselytize to anyone and everyone you possibly could. Which I also found unbearable, as I am not a saleswoman, but that is a side point. My point is that it just seems so random. So, if I grow up in a muslim family, surrounded by other muslims, never hear of Jesus (Ok, this was a bit more realistic a few years ago, but still, it could happen!), and then die, then that's it, I go to hell? Doesn't matter that I was an outstanding muslim, and that I lived a godly life? Maybe I was a better Christian (ie, lived according to the teachings of Christ, just by coincidence), then Jimmy Swaggart (I mean, how hard is that?), but I still go to hell, and Jimmy goes to heaven? What kind of grace is that? Oh, wait, even better. I am a completely despicable person. Someone teaches me about the invisible pink unicorn, and I see the error of my ways, beg forgiveness, and become a loving, wonderful person. Ok, maybe not the unicorn, but this does happen to people with religions other than Christianity, but they are apparently also screwed, because they called the god that they prayed to for forgiveness the wrong name. So much for grace. I don't get the whole faith bit either. I am suppose to believe in Christianity, even though I have no proof, because of faith? But if I choose to believe in the flying spaghetti monster based on faith, and also no proof, then I am screwed. Humph. But, since I was taught that once you are born again, you are always born again, I'm ok, because I really was sincere in sixth grade. :-p christian god ~ Comments: 0
Uganda
 My very dear friend Dorothy married a wonderful man from Uganda last year in New York city. They had a fantastic wedding, and I have some pictures from that wedding on my old web site. Unfortunately my camera was not behaving well for that particular trip, so the pictures are limited, and not the greatest. This year they had another wedding, this time in Uganda, following Ugandan traditions as much as possible. Calvin runs a charity called Pilgrim, which assists Ugandans who are in need. It does this using a multi-armed approach. They help in several of the IDP camps, giving assistance directly to families. This assistance comes in many different flavours. They help the people in the camps to begin to pick up their lives, often by helping them to farm by providing seed and other necessities for farming. As well as the direct assistance of food, shelter, clothing and medical attention for people in the camps, they have created groups to help people with trauma, as many of these people have seen family members killed or abducted by the LRA (Lord's Resistance Army) or the Karamojong or have themselves been abducted. They work to help to get the children back into school. When there was extreme flooding at the end of last year, they were one of the first aide groups to respond, ferrying people out of the flood zones, and working with other organizations to bring food, clothing, and medical aid to the people displaced by the flooding. They also run a secondary school, which is targeted towards children from the camps, and most of which are sponsored by Pilgrim or their sister organization Three Loaves, which Dorothy directs. Currently they are involved in a radical program to eliminate malaria in the Teso region. Most of their work is done in an area of the country called Teso, which includes the village where Calvin's family is from, and is now one of the poorest regions of Uganda. Click on Dorothy's picture for more pictures and commentary from our trip to Uganda to attend her wedding, and to see the work that Pilgrim is doing in Uganda. Uganda ~ Comments: 0
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